Hills Not Alive with the Sound of Music, but Muffled Rap Plays in Distance

The sound of muffled rap music can sometimes be heard in the hills of Austria

AUSTRIA- Tourists were perplexed yesterday as they visited the hills of Salzburg and heard no music. There was complete silence when they arrived.

“I thought there was supposed to be music here,” said George, a perplexed tourist. “Julie Andrews said ‘The hills are alive with the sound of music’, and I don’t hear any music.”

But after a few minutes they heard the sound of muffled rap music.

The tourists began to connect the lyrics to the rolling hills of the landscape as Chamillionaire’s Ridin’ played. They noticed the lyrics “They see me rollin’, they hatin’,”symbolized the rolling hills making music for tourists who did not seem to appreciate it.

“I suppose that was the music we were supposed to hear,” said George, “but I can’t be sure.”

They made more connections to the landscape as Vanilla Ice’s Ice Ice Baby played next. They heard another call from the hills to “Stop collaborate and listen.” So they continued to listen to the music, as if the hills were telling them to.

As Coolio’s Gangsta Paradise began to play, the tourists could not connect any more lyrics to the landscape and went back to their hotels disappointed.


Local DJ Arrested for Playing Marathon of Wham’s “Last Christmas” in Valencia Mall

Shoppers rush to finish last minute holiday shopping at Westfield Valencia Mall

Valencia, CA- Shoppers at Westfield Valencia Mall were going about their last minute Christmas shopping when they heard  Wham’s Last Christmas play twice.

Then it played again.

And again.

As the song continued to repeat, security guards had to restrain several shoppers as they began knocking over perfume displays in Macy’s and throwing dishes at speakers. Several 911 calls were made after the song played for the 10th time. Twenty incidents of road rage were reported in the area during the time of the incident.

One shopper remarked that it was worse than Black Friday of 2004, when he observed two male shoppers get into a fist fight over Hot Wheels cars at Walmart while others placed bets.

Mall security checked the sound room and found no sign of Scott Beardsley, the DJ in charge of the mall’s sound system. The music was playing from a remote location.

Investigators found that the marathon began after Scott’s ex-girlfriend entered the mall. They broke up around the holidays last year. When police finally found Scott after several hours, he remarked that his ex-girlfriend “got what was coming to her”.

Scott was arrested and is now being sued for emotional distress by several shoppers.

Music Student Found Living in Practice Rooms

November 22, 2016

UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON- Campus security guard Jim Nelson was startled one night when he heard ominous music while on night watch near the music building.

 “I thought I was a goner,” he said. “You know something bad is about to happen when you hear music like that. It always happens in the movies.”
 Jim braced himself, hand ready on his taser. He found the practice rooms unlocked and held his taser ahead. At the end of the hallway, he found the student Michael Young playing Rachmaninoff on the Steinway.
 “I recognized Michael and asked him what he was doing there so late.”
 When Jim saw a sleeping bag in the corner and a trash can full of empty coffee cups, he realized what was happening. Michael was living in the practice rooms. As Jim was talking to Michael, a light came on in another room where a student had just woken up.
 “It’s just easier for me to stay here instead of walking all the way back to the dorms,” said Michael, a piano performance major. “That’s the only way I can get my 5 hours of practice in. That plus 4 cups of coffee.”

  While a lounge is in the works for the practice rooms, music faculty plan to add dorm rooms to the music building in the near future.

Five Pieces for Election Day

As many of you have already voted, you’re probably needing some music right now to meet you where you are. For many, it was a difficult decision, for others, not so difficult. No matter your opinion of the candidates, there is a piece for you. These 5 pieces will help you get through today and help you face whatever comes next.


1. Oh Canada

If you are seriously considering moving to Canada, this is for you. Imagine yourself in Canada watching hockey and eating pancakes with real maple syrup as you listen and prepare yourself for the move. This piece will take you there.

2. Verdi’s Dies Irae (Day of Wrath)

This is for you if you believe America is doomed and judgment day is coming shortly because of who was elected. The piece comes from Verdi’s Requiem and speaks of all the earth being judged and destroyed.

3. Chopin’s Etude Op. 10 No. 3 “Sadness”

This piece, nicknamed “sadness”, is for you if you are simply sad about who lost. This has a slightly more positive mood than the last piece.

4. Orff’s O Fortuna This piece goes along the lines somewhat of #2. If you think everything has gone wrong in this election, this piece is for you. It speaks of fate being unmerciful.

5. Beethoven’s Symphony No. 5

To end on a positive note (listen to the end), this piece is commonly thought of as fate knocking at the door (dun dun dun DUN part), but in the end you gain victory over fate (22:00). This piece is for you if you believe whoever wins, it might be bad for a little while, but America will emerge victorious in the end.


Graduate Student Composes Variations on 4’33"

Seattle, WA- Chelsea Whiting, a local graduate student at the University of Washington, is daring to do something never done before- compose variations on the popular John Cage piece 4’33” for her graduate composition project.

The original work composed by John Cage, is a composition in which the pianist sits at the piano in silence for 4 minutes and 33 seconds, and the music becomes the ambiance of the concert hall or venue in which it is played. For her composition, Chelsea wanted to experiment with non traditional venues.

Chelsea recorded the piece in various locations around Seattle as a tribute to her hometown. She took her own upright piano to each location to add her own signature to the piece. In the “Pike Place Market” variation, you can hear the famous fish throwers throw a fish onto the piano keyboard and tourists asking “What’s going on?” as they watch Chelsea sit motionless at the piano, as three more fish hit her in the face.

The “Mt Rainier” variation was recorded on location in Mt Rainier National Park.

“I wanted to capture the atmosphere of the park that holds so many childhood memories for me,” said Chelsea. “You can even hear the park rangers telling hikers not to pick the wildflowers and stay on the path.” Picking wildflowers and straying from the hiking trail is prohibited to preserve the natural beauty of the park.

For the 12th variation, Chelsea brought her piano to record outside Century Link Field, as a tribute to the 12th man.

The finale is recorded in the practice rooms at the University of Washington, which incorporates elements of atonality as you hear the muffled sounds of other students practicing nearby, much like a Charles Ives piece.

Chelsea’s composition professor had much praise for the project, especially the “Sitting on the Couch at Home Reading a Book” variation: “When you listen to this variation, it’s like that feeling you get when you’ve been listening to music with headphones for a while and it stops and you can finally hear that person who was trying to talk to you. This work takes you to that moment in time, it’s that powerful.”

Chelsea graduates this year with a Doctorate of Musical Arts from the University of Washington.